The Family
A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honour.
"Happy Anniversary Mum and Dad", gushed son number one, a surgeon. "Sorry! I was running late, I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry" said the father, "the important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mom look great Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between cases and didn't have time to shop for you".
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary! I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."
After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor but, despite this, we were able to send each of you to university. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time ……… to get married."
All three children gasped and said, "You mean we're bastards?"
"Yes," said the father, "and pretty miserable ones at that!”